“From fairy tales to Lifetime movies to Facebook feeds, we’re bombarded with images of ‘perfect’ partners and love that ‘completes’ us,” she says. You idealize the idea of loveĪccording to Botnick, unrealistic cultural ideas about love can play a part. This overwhelming need for your partner can also happen within a relationship when you crave their company so much you neglect work, school, and other important parts of your life in order to spend time together. Even after they ask for space, you might feel compelled to keep seeing them, trying to convince them to give the relationship another chance. Or you might fixate on the person you love, even if they no longer return your feelings. Maybe you struggle to let go of a relationship after it ends. “With all addictions or comfort-seeking behaviors, an obsessive type of focus can begin to take over,” Stringer says. You continue “craving” someone who doesn’t feel the same way This can hurt both you and your romantic partners over time, especially when you don’t communicate (or realize) your relationship goals. You want the excitement of early love, but you don’t want to stick around for a relationship. “You might find yourself in a revolving door of relationships, with no down time in between,” explains Melissa Stringer, a marriage and family therapist in Sunnyvale, Texas. So it follows that someone experiencing this pattern would crave that feeling again and again. You need to keep falling in loveĮxperts link the euphoric high (activated by the release of dopamine and other “happy” hormones) that’s so common in the early stages of love to addictive relationship behaviors. According to the study, similar areas of the brain activated by cocaine cravings were also activated after rejection.Īlthough relationship addiction isn’t recognized as an official diagnosis, mental health experts and existing research generally agree on a few key signs that suggest cause for concern. A 2010 study examined brain activity in 15 people who had recently experienced relationship rejection. The addictive qualities of love can also come into play during a breakup. One-sided or unrequited love might feel more addictive. However, the authors noted that the cravings and longing tend to mellow over time into a more stable, lasting love. However, the authors make the distinction that romantic love isn’t characterized as a behavioral or chemical addiction.Ī 2018 review and case study echoed the link between love and dopamine. This happens, researchers explain, because the dopamine reward system in your brain is activated by romantic love, just as it’s activated by substances and addictive behaviors. People in love often experience euphoria, cravings, dependency, withdrawal, and other behaviors associated with addiction. Still, there’s some evidence that relationships can be addictiveĪ few recent studies have explored how characteristics of addiction can show up in the development of romantic relationships.Ī 2016 study describes romantic love as a natural addiction. Still, Botnick acknowledges that, “as with any condition, it’s concerning when someone’s thoughts and behavior cause significant, ongoing distress.” In other words, simply moving from relationship to relationship or wanting to have multiple relationships at the same time doesn’t mean you’re “addicted.” Neither does falling in love quickly, wanting to find a new partner immediately after a breakup, or enjoying how it feels to have a relationship. “Are you an addict when you jump from relationship to relationship? What does ‘loving too much’ actually mean?” she asks. The lack of diagnostic criteria also complicates things. Relationship addiction, some argue, could fit into this category.Īccording to Vicki Botnick, a marriage and family therapist in Tarzana, California, “using the term addiction to talk about love and sex is controversial.” Love and sex are both a natural part of human life, unlike, say, substance use or gambling. These include addictions to things like gambling and shopping. The idea of relationship addiction is somewhat controversialĪddiction typically refers to alcohol or substance dependency, but experts increasingly support the existence of behavioral addictions.
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