![]() ![]() ![]() I don’t even understand the internet anymore. Weird right? Like, yeah okay, you know what would be dope as fuck on my body – just slap Dee Snider as a rapist on there. ![]() That’s someone who got a fucking STRANGELAND tattoo. Okay, so real talk here for a second, when I was “researching” this film to understand it more, I came across this: This is where most logical movies would end, right? Yeah no. He gets put away in a local nuthouse and the case seems to be closed. There’s a weird part too where Captain Howdy is hanging from some hooks in a nightclub talking about achieving a near death experience and I guess that’s important because it comes into play later, so keep reading.Īnyways, detective Dad ends up finding Captain Howdy’s house and after a brief struggle beats the shit out of Captain Howdy and rescues Genevieve.Ĭaptain Howdy is found to be a man named Carlton Hendricks who is a schizophrenic and when he’s on his meds, he’s totally fine. When the detective is investigating and shit wouldn’t it be pretty easy to point out the like one dude with face tatts and a red mohawk and be all, “oh yeah he lives over on Mockingbird Lane”? Like. Weird right? He definitely has tattoos all over the one side of his face and like bright red mohawked hair. The time line and streaming of this film makes really no fucking sense.Īlso at this point the whole film gets super fucking weird because there’s the implication that Captain Howdy raped the shit out of the teenagers he was kidnapping, as he delightfully dances around screaming about his ampallang piercing and how he enjoyed using it on the girls. phones him? to tell him he got fucked over. Detective Dad decides to set up a sting and find CaptainHowdy and pose as a teenage girl hoping to get invited to a party, but this doesn’t work and he gets sent on a wild goose chase and Captain Howdy. The detective would just turn to him and be all, “Jim, what the fuck are you talking about, this is a spark plug.”Īnd then septum spike dude was all, “Oh shit, yeah you’re right, I just see what I want to see.”Īnyways, since this is Strangeland and this film is about body mods and whatever, it definitely is a big ass septum spike and detective Dad learns all about body modification from the dude on the rescue squad who looks like a reject from Linkin Park or some shit.Īnyways. ![]() Like, could you imagine though if the dude was wrong? Tell me more about how you can identify pieces of body jewelry at forty paces. I’m not fucking around here because I was CRYING laughing. Anyways as they’re hauling the no longer warm but still smoking hot body of Tiana out of the trunk, the detective picks up a piece of metal from the ground and some asshole in the rescue squad like forty paces away is like “LOOKS LIKE A SEPTUM SPIKE TO ME”. Genevieve’s dad is the lead detective of the city I guess? I have no idea. I debated googling “teenage niplettes” after writing that sentence, thought better of it and here’s something slightly less awful:Īnywho as shitty luck would have it Tiana’s car gets pulled out of the local crik, with Tiana’s dead but still hot body inside the trunk, and detective Dad gets his first break in the case. Perhaps, a person who calls himself after the Devil’s nickname in the Exorcist film series isn’t the type of dude that you want to be tweaking your teenage niplettes through your training bra. Like all good kids dialing up a good time on the dial up internet, Tiana and Genevieve start chatting to a “local teen” who calls himself CaptainHowdy. I hope that tells you how of much of a loser I am/was One of my screen names on this was MorbidMakeup. I mean, now, the local coffee shop girl has a throat rocker tattoo, full sleeves, and more metal in her face than an 1980s earring tree, so I understand that just like Bob Dylan said, “The times, they are a changing”. Strangeland is a movie from 1998, a time when body modification, nu-metal, and Dee Snider were all relevant and since they were somewhat “new”, by proxy, these things were also, “Edgy”, or “frightening”. I only remember briefly watching it back in the 1990s so of course we bought the thing and went home to get fuckin lit and watch it, obviously. The local thrift store tends to carry a high number of regrettable DVD purchases and one night while I was buried under a pile of thrift shop black rags, Scotty Floronic came trotting over bearing unto me a copy of Strangeland on DVD. Regrettable sweaters, trashy purses, visors, old emo band shirts, VHS tapes, records and occaisionally, little gems like Strangeland on DVD. There’s nothing quite like sifting through piles of old ephemera that people have cast off into the darkness. If you’re anything like this guy right here, you enjoy a good thrift store amble. ![]()
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